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Rumbles of an Insomniac

It’s 4 A.M suddenly you wake up, the room is dark yet lit with a tint of green, from that feeble LED of your air conditioner. The Space is shrouded in serene calmness, breached only by occasional gusts of wind rattling against the window pane. Those wall hanging look irksome from an ominous tint of green. The familiar shapes seem to have morphed into something alien. Occasionally the ceiling is flooded with shades of yellow, lurking out from the top of the curtain, hiding you from the outside world. These yellow streaks paint distorted figurines that crisscross from one corner of the room to the other. Followed by a muffled but, distinct rumble moving away from you.
You close your eyes only to open them again as if taking a mental picture of this surreal moment. Your focus is now affixed to a strange, yet calming rhythmic throbbing. Trying to figure its source you hold your breath only to realize it was you; That Rhythm is your heart. You continue to listen to it, only to be disrupted, when you gasp for your breath.
Again you lie perfectly still gazing into the tints of green on the ceiling like a moth enticed by the flame, contemplating your existential existence. Slowly drifting into the nostalgia of past. Thinking of friends lost, goof-ups in school and screw-ups of college. While the resentments for opportunities lost, drown you into a faded, washed out and muffled flashback. A flashback that overwhelms your subconscious, drenching it with the realization of loss and pain. Your thought train is now off the rails. But, the calmness of night lures you back into the terms with reality, reassuring you of a brighter future. A future of which you are as weary as of the past but still as sure as of the present.
This turmoil of emotions has ignited a strange craving for food. It seems your mind is playing tricks and is somehow misinterpreting emotional void as metabolic need. Now you must jostle that owl off your shoulder and set out on a prowl to hunt for food. You fumble your way across the room into the pitch black hallway making your way to the kitchen off of the mental map. A strange itch accompanied by the butterflies in the stomach, from the anticipation that, you might run into that expensive vase in the hallway or maybe hit your head into a wall or something gains upon you. Finally, you reach the kitchen. Start by raiding the fridge and all the know stashes of motherly love. Only to settle for a stale piece of crap.
Now you are back in your cave, nibbling off that crap whilst fiddling with night lamp making funny shadows on the wall. All the mental commotion, anxiety and nostalgia have subsided. You are now struggling to get that tune out of your head, counting hours of sleep left before you have to wake up and face that torturous world again………zzzzzzzz….zzzzzzz.
Though darkness is evil, the darkness of night is not necessarily the one.
In fact, I think that it’s the darkness of night that wakes the subconscious.
Jostles your fear, giving way to courage.
After all, the millions of years of evolution were to help your ancient self, survive the hostility of night.

What is satisfaction:

Do you think, such a thing really exists? Some people say they have seen or touched it but I think its all smoke no fire. I mean, just honestly have you ever seen this elusive beast yourself. No! you have only heard myths about it never facts.

I think it’s one of the most coveted secret guarded closely by oligarch of the puppeteer that people over millennia have called God. Just think about it if this secret were ever to come out will his kingdom survive. After all, he thrives off the prayers generated out of misery, not on the thanks from satisfaction. If someone says he’s satisfied I recommend to get as far as possible from that person. Believe you me that person will eventually ask you to donate all your worldly possession to him so that you can also have stratification. It’s just one of those terms created by society to provide a false sense of security or something to keep you shackled to the pursuit of an equally ridiculous concept called money.

It’s like one of those rare gems, surely to cause pillage on its way. It is like a sorcerer, always seeking ways to torture or chain you up. If you want to get out of its wretched grip, then you gotta be a rebellion. Once you give into its devotion, its detrimental dysfunction, slowing rushing you to destruction, you are liable to get alienated. Because face it society is a two faced bitch. No matter how much it raves for satisfaction. It likes no one who is satisfied. They won’t hesitate to shut you out, with no recourse at all. But to some extent, their anxiety is rightly pointed. It’s a fact satisfaction eventually lead to clogging of progress.

Image result for meme on satisfaction

If you are satisfied with what you have, then what’s the need to innovate, deliberate or create. I would say satisfaction is and will always remain biased or a salve to the fabric of time. You may say, satisfaction is having the most exotic lunch box as a child, satisfaction is kissing your love as a teenager, satisfaction is buying a new car as a man or satisfaction is being with family when you grow old. I believe one should always stride towards success not for satisfaction but for gratification or just the thrills of it. The World may brand success as addictive but its a good addiction not like the necromancer that satisfaction is.

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A letter to Destiny

To Destiny
Cloud Nine, Kismat Lane,
Opp. Luck, Fate —101
Neverland

Dear Destiny,

It’s been ages! How are you? Or rather, where have you been??

I know you may not remember me as our paths have not crossed since our first encounter but please bare with me. This may jog your memory. I am that same weird lump hanging upside down, naked, crying while a strange creature was smacking my tushy; “Ankit”. In fact, you were the love at first sight for my mom since she saw you there.

First, I must admit, I have since, I was a kid wondered why or what did you promised her during that meeting that she fell for you much harder for you than I ever did. Many times, I wish I could go back to that room and listen to your conversation with her. Even though 20, 25 odd years have passed this question and a few others still perplexes me. Thus, to crush the curiosity bug in my grey matter I am writing this letter to you.

Anyways, I am getting ahead of myself. What I want to tell you is that there is no place in the world that I haven’t looked for you. Ironically, I stumbled upon your address when I abandoned the accepted societal myth, that only those who fell into the chasm of the rat race for money, fame, and success will ever find you. Therefore, you may rest assured I won’t grill you about money or fame.

So, here goes.

Every myth I have ever heard about you had these things in common:
1. Only you and, you alone determine the success
2. You are elusive
3. No amount of Hard work or toil can change you.

Are they true? I need an answer from the horse’s mouth.

Because in my opinion its other way around. I believe only hard work and dedication can seduce success, you are merely an auditor who can easily be bribed by dedication and determination. I don’t know why, every time I see a post on Facebook praising you, every time I see couples on Instagram posting wedding pics hailing you. I smile, I smile sarcastically. Am I broken? or is this out of jealousy! Please, break it down for me.

How! can you be elusive? If, every damm ape assumes (that too, right from birth) that he/she is destined to be rich, famous and successful. Everrry…time, I zorb through snap chats or hashtags all I ever see are hordes of witless and phonies sighting you as their best pal. Which makes me wonder, have I been living under a rock that I didn’t even receive a postcard from you in all these years. Not that I am complaining or am mad at you. But at least a hello couldn’t have hurt. Anyhow, I hope and wish that you remain lifelong friends with them. I am really very proud of you for stepping up for them. Though I miss you but am content with my Tweedle-dee [hard work] and Tweedle-dum [hope and aspirations] for now.

Ok, before I forget. What did you say to my mom during that meeting that made her fell in love with you? I have only heard her version of things. According to her, you told her a secret. Which was “If, I ever didn’t feel happy or life seemed to be slightly dim then I must remember, it’s temporary as you[destiny] are just testing my worthiness since you[destiny] have big plans for me”.

Considering you two haven’t met or talked in ages since that last encounter, I think, your exact words were lost in translation. Correct me if my version of things is wrong. But, I think you might have said, something on these lines “Even though you[destiny] have big plans and hopes for me but only my inner conviction and perseverance will help me achieve what you[destiny] have planned for me.”

All, these years while searching for you, have made me realize. That life is meant to be hard but even a vague promise by a compassionate stranger [stranger being you] can make it extraordinary in the hopes that maybe he is seeing something good that we are still to experience or stumble upon. These promises may last a lifetime or become distant memories. But you know what? It’s okay because at least it provides solace in the fact that Sometimes life just gets in the way but still we must continue growing up and changing ourselves.

Remember, i will always be waiting for the day to be your host. And, thanks for not dozing off like ross while reading this letter in which I have rambled on for 2 pages “FRONT AND BACK”!!!!! 😊

Yours,
Ankit

If Undelivered Please return :
To, Ankit
Third Rock from the Sun,
by the ocean of opportunities,
on the boat of hope,
paddling away with oars of success

What is truth | Part 2

For Time is truth, the only one that matters as truth;

Time is pure and unbiased but is Ugly, bitter and harsh as the truth;

For truth may be, tumultuous or treacherous it still deserves to be heard and remembered;

Mother’s love for her children is truth, as is a child’s cry for mother is truth;

Life is truth so is death, pain is truth as is pleasure;

Go ask a dying man, every breath is truth. 

People spend eternity in pursuit of truth but naively they never consider that being alive is truth;

Every lie we spun is essentially a fiction of truth. 

Truth is all around us, You just need eyes good enough to see the light in truth.

For a lie may live a lifetime but it can never replace the truth.

The irony of a lie is that if people believe in it, it also becomes the truth. 

God may not be truth but nature sure is truth;

Genesis may not be truth but evolution sure is truth.

For I may not say the truth but one must listen for the truth; 

Because truth is truth and nothing can beat the truth. 

Read the first part here : What is truth | Part 1

State of Affairs at Oldest Company in Universe

In my opinion the company’s CEO has abandoned his abode and now is in pursuit of a better career. Or, perhaps he is reevaluating his work ethics or questioning his employees dedication towards his visions.
Many subsidiaries have not been true to the actual company vision. And some creative campaigns by regional heads has gone out of hand. It’s been a while since any new product was milled while most of the versions in circulation are very slow in introducing updates or hot fixes.
Revolutionizing products like Christianity and Islam did tried to diversify their holdings but are now suffering from the surge of cheap knockoffs in market introduced by ambitious stakeholders. Even good products like Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism have not been performing well despite of increasing profits. New competition from ultra modern and slick atheism is getting fierce by day. The hysteria and confusion spread by hardcore fans and fanatics is one of the main factors contributing to this increased competition. Widespread bribery and bureaucracy at offices coupled with Infestation of rodents or the so-called saviors of company and protectors of stakeholders interest has plagued the enterprise. It has weakened companies core foundations. The original manifesto has now morphed into a different version by constant misinterpretation and toying of centuries by greedy publishers and writers. It’s getting agonizing to come by unaltered or unadulterated versions of it.
Unethical practices has grown exponentially in last two decades mainly in new branch offices. In-spite of CEO’s constant warning and strict approach most of the management is under slumber and pays no heed to his warnings. If something is not done soon, company shares will definitely plummet to levels like the thousand years (4th to 14th century) depression in Europe.
Related image
Infulence of Religion Over the Years
 I think CEO should revel himself to the media before it’s too late to distance his good name that is being dragged through mud. He should visit his offices and fire unworthy employees or managers who are driving his dream company into the ground. Also, his legal team has been on a sabbatical for far too long while the proxies they hired to do the job have grown greedy and needy. All thanks to the influx of lobbyists and their mounds of gold plundered over the past century. The plethora of rouge advertising campaigns, with phony offers can be blamed equally. These campaigns by regional offices are butchering his image.He should expunge all the overhead expenditures and streamline company organogram; if he wishes to survive the impending doom.
A new PR plan is needed to extradite gangrenous parts while salvaging healthy ones. Radical new product is required to keep check on management, something at par with hell but reserved only for them. Some sort of tit for tat approach is require. Since, they have been plagiarizing his works by twisting and swirling it to their whims and instilling fear to thrive on miseries.
Graphic detailMay 15th 2015by The Data Teamtwitter ifacebook
Religion vs Wealth

Who are you

Who are you

You are nobody the world doesn’t give a rats ass about your existence. A speck of dust that will be brushed off from history in seconds. All the accomplishments of the lifetime are nothing that the world has never seen or will not see, you are just a phase under passing. Your existence is not essential for the world you are just a probability that happened or may be a conspiracy that physics played to provide entropy to the universe, either way, you are just a random consequence on a cosmic scale.

Lakshmanpur Beach : Havelock Island - Andaman and Nicobar

You may think of yourself to be the smartest but be aware you have not seen the real world out there. No amount of fame or convection will titillate the world or history so that they remember you; history is too quick to judge and too old to bother, you are merely a blimp on time. In fact, for all practical purposes, you don’t exist for this world. You may be a maverick or plane old dogmatic theists but the cogs of time will grind you like a pebble to dust. You must bow to this babbling brook of time and surrender to this reality, the sooner you realise how insignificant you are to the cosmos and how time is a ruthless tyrant, the faster you learn how to assimilate into this breakout black hole.

Remember If Prometheus betrayed titans to help your kind only to be damned for eternity, to be devoured for aeons he must have seen something that made him steal the most coveted power and relinquish it to the feeble mankind. If he could see it then surely you can see or seek it now. Don’t be discontent with this world, it’s as fair to you as it is to the others. Complaining about it will not help you persevere your deeds, you must approach them head on like a Mongol under khan. The perpetual motion of this world will not halt to accommodate you, it’s you who have to hop on to this hurdling spaceship in the ocean of time. If you fall behind you are bound to get crushed under it. No amount of motivation will be incentive enough unless it’s you who want to do it. Success is and has always been elusive, but as long as you don’t garner the courage to propose to it. You must let go of the unnecessary baggages and pseudo sense of control on life. This control is temporal and baggages are just dragging you to the abyss.

As quantum mechanics dictates if you close your eyes the world must cease to exist because its act of observation that brings the true nature of matter as well as reality. In fact, the entirety of the universe is just a probability so it doesn’t matter if you yourself are a probability. Once you learn to see this universe as merely an illusion or may be a simulation brought to inception by your act of observing it.

https://jaapberghoeffotografiedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/11/mirrored-desires.jpg?w=640&h=396

You will realise the true superpower nature has endowed you with. The emptiness of space as well slumber of the world is and has always been uncomfortable, inhospitable and cruel not only to you but to the entirety of the universe. Never blame circumstances they are just bitter realities that we have created in order to justify our cowardliness. You must learn to break out of the vicious circle; It has always been you and yourself against the world. No one is interested in your failures but everyone one will always want a piece of cake from your engagement party to success. Sooner you realise that It’s always has been you who is responsible for all the ups and downs of your life faster you will fathom the reality of never looking up to the world for pity.

Just engrave this in your book of life: You are you and nobody should be able to deny that or take away it from you. This world is and will always we against you but never let that delineate you from the goals and unadulterated love for success. If you want something with enough sedition and dedication there no force powerful enough that will take that away from you.